To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a GARMENT OF PRAISE instead of a spirit of despair. Isaiah 61:3
There a half a world away, but today the distance is released, and hearts meet in the middle. We spent over 30 minutes praying for them. We raised money for them.We prayed for them, We checked for updates, and did I mention we prayed?
Kampala Uganda-it’s their turn to rock. Their turn to praise their father.
God is bringing Louie Giglio, through Passion to Kampala.
So many times we talk about being in “God’s family” This has never been as real to me as it is now. We are ONE. One body, one love. I am reminded of a moment at Passion this year where I looked around at the group of fellow college students-and was just completely overwehlmed that these people were my family, and I didn’t even know them. I shared moments with them that I’ve never experienced with even my own family. I won’t be forgetting those moments anytime soon. I know that the people in Kampala are being impacted the same way that I was.
As we sang “God of the City” I was reminded of all the cities Passion was going to-which are all God’s anyway. Yes, Kampala, your city belongs to God.
24 hours. 24. Time is the greatest common currency-we all get the same amount of time in a day. Time sees no age. Time sees no favorites, or gender. Time can be “on our side” or “against us.” Time. Each second is ticking by as I write this. What am I doing to impact eternity? What am I doing to save a life? If each moment counts, what does this moment count as. I remember a quote I heard
“What if not everything that isn’t counted counts and whatever can be counted doesn’t count.”
At first, it really didn’t make sense to me. Too many counts I guess-but then I got to understanding it, and it really started to click with me. What IF that is true? I think a lot of times it is. You can’t count hours spent with a friend, or a young person in need. You can’t count advise, or a phone call. You can’t count a helping hand or a borrowed truck to help someone move, or even an ungrumbling heart and a pure mind.
Following the will of God for a life can be tricky. Sometimes we can feel as though we are just walking blind into situations. I know I do. It’s like I know I can see a light somewhere-but I’m not sure where it’s leading or what path comes next. Today I entered the next step of my life-the work world.
Yes, I am now officually a Youth Intern.
Today was a pretty basic day-gearing up for tomorrow. Today I was introduced to the staff-tomorrow I am introduced to the Youth. I got my own computer, my own church email, my own desk, and my own paperclips and post-it-notes. How awesome is that? I had assigned reading, a team meeting, a Pastors meeting, lunch with the Youth Pastor and my other intern whom I shall call Rose although he is a boy (those of you who know him get the joke). After lunch we hit a first for me-we all went through the car wash. I’d never been in one before and I must say it was VERY exciting.
We went back to do some more work, and at the end of the day we spent a few minutes “testing out” the Wii. It was only my second time on the Wii (first time for more then like 5 minutes-and I didn’t remember much of anything). Rose and I dominated our boss for the first set, but then he got his pride hurt, and smoked us. In golf the Wii actually told me to give up-I laughed.
This whole time I’m just sitting back amazed at where I am. It’s like this whole job thing was just this black darkness-and God totally just placed me where he wanted me. All I had to do was listen to his quiet guidance, and sit back while He did most of the work. He wants me there. Do you know how it feels when you enter a situation where you KNOW that you are supposed to be there? It’s just so amazing. It’s not easy. It’s not not stressful. It’s not not intimidating-it is-but it’s where I’m supposed to be and I’m excited.
All this to say that I’m not sure how much time I’ll have to blog over the summer-I’ll have to take it as it goes-but I’m sure I’ll have time to squeeze in a post about every other day. (I KNOW that I’ll atleast get to post once a week because I get one day off!)
Until next post-Take care, and know that I pray for you.
Throughout this week, and this year, I have been faced with several circumstances which have had many people asking me, and many people vocalising a burning question:
“Why does God let bad things happen?”
The real question is why doesn’t God let more bad things happen, but that’s a semi-theological discussion for another day.
A few things have been rolling around in my head as to why God lets tragety happen. This list is just a few of the many reasons. Asking me “why God let’s bad things happen” forces us to go to the heart of God-and the heart of God just cannot be understood by the human mind. Nevertheless-here are a few reasons God placed on my heart.
1. It draws his children back to Him.
*Although not always the case, God can use tragety to discipline a child. It does not mean that He does not love the child, rather it means that He DOES love His child. If you are never disciplined, you end up like a spoiled brat. Often times we forget how much we need God, and intentually try to do things on our own, or we end up becoming an adulterer or adulteress-intentually turning our backs on Him. Discipline can be minor, or it can be something very grave. We see an example of this is the old testament as Isreal time and time again falls from God, and God through various trageties (the ground opening up and swallowing those who had sinned for one example) draws them back to Him.
2. It makes us realize our need for our savior.
*Sometimes tragedy makes a nation realize that they need someone stronger because they can not make it on their own. Sometimes God must shake us up in order for us to realize that we cannot stand on our own feet, or even breathe without His grace.
3. It teaches us lessons about life and increases the fame of God.
*I’ve been reading Steven Curtis Chapman’s blog about his daughter’s memorial service, and God’s hand is so clear in that situation-it’s almost crazy. I was astounded to hear a quote from Steven’s son saying “I have never been so convinced that Jesus is real.” You KNOW he prayed for God to heal his little sister, but He didn’t-and yet Caleb’s faith was increased through God NOT healing his sister.
4. It gives Christ followers a chance to show their strength through Him.
I think of the floods in New Orleans-there’s still so much work left to be done, and most of the people who are still there are Christian relief organizations. You look around the world at tragedies, and you see that Christ followers are often the first to go. Even Salvation Army started as a Christian organization. Tone it down from the large tragedies, even the death of a premature child-and the family responding with praise to God is a situation where Christ followers show the strength of the Lord.
I am not exempt from situations that I do not understand, even situations very close to my heart. When I lost my little sisters, and my world fell apart a song was recently released that really reached through to me. It was “Blessed be your name” by Matt Redman. A part of the song goes “You give and take away, You give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name.” In reality all that we think of as ours is actually His in the first place, so He does have the right to take it away, as painful as it is.
As I was at the beach this week, I really felt like one of the things that God taught me was that my trying to understand Him is like trying to capture the beauty of the ocean with my camera. No matter how hard a tried, pictures could not do it justice. Same with His heart, and His character. No matter how hard I try I really can’t understand Him, but it doesn’t mean that I stop.
If you feel like you’ve been hurt by God, or that you have had something precious taken from you, or a tragedy has befallen you, lift up your eyes, and hold onto hope. I know you may not understand “why” this has happened, I know I don’t always, but keep in mind that the God who holds the stars in place also holds you.
Many of you have heard of the tragedy that fell on the family of Steven Curtis Chapman this week. For those of you who haven’t, Steven lost his youngest daughter, Maria, in a tragic accident. Steven’s son accidentally ran over her. I cannot imagine the devestation facing this young man. Each time, I place myself in his shoes, I am completely overwhelmed. Having two adopted little sisters I know the joy that they bring into my life, and I can’t imagine loosing either of them, let alone to have a horrible accident result in the responsibility of their death resting in my hands-the pain just consumes me. I’ve always been a softy, and pretty sensitive to others pains, but as I grapple with this one, I am just at a loss. My heart hurts for him.
All I can do is pray for this young man, and for his family. Each time I keep coming back to the injustice of it, or the pain of it, I stand humbled because I know that Maria is with Jesus. It still really stinks to be left without such a precious heart-and in such a terrible state of grief.
The family was getting ready to celebrate their oldest daughter’s engagement. One of their older sons had just graduated from High School, and now, they must bury Maria.
We can sit around and weep saying that “it’s not fair” and in reality-it really isn’t. We can try to cover our pain with words of sympathy-but our words do nothing to numb the pain. I am reminded of a song written by Stephen-before his daughters death. The words comfort, and haunt. As you go about your day today I ask you to remember the Chapman family, and the other families who are suffering the loss of a beloved daughter or son.
“This is not at all how
we thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
we had so many dreams
And now you’ve gone away
and left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
and nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
the pain of losing you
We can cry with hope
we can say goodbye with hope
‘Cause we know our goodbye is not the end
We can grieve with hope
because we believe with hope
There’s a place where we’ll see your face again
We’ll see your face again
Never have I known
anything so hard to understand
Never have I questioned more
the wisdom of God’s plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father smile and say well done
And I imagine you
where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
‘Cause now you’re home and now you’re free
We can cry with hope, we can say goodbye with hope
‘Cause we know our goodbye is not the end
We can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope
There’s a place where we’ll see your face again
We’ll see your face again
We have this hope like as an anchor
‘Cause we believe that everything God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope, we can say goodbye with hope
‘Cause we know our goodbye is not the end
We can grieve with hope, because we believe with hope
There’s a place
By God’s grace
There’s a place where we’ll see your face again .”
They say the ocean is a healer, and I’m not one to argue with that. Three days of sitting on the beach (okay, two and one half) has really helped me process a lot. There’s a lot of things that can be drawn from the waves. Power, anger, might, fear, but also healing.
As I was walking at the beach I found a rock. This rock had been in the ocean for awhile. Every place that used to be rough was as smooth. Why? for months the sand had grated against the rock, breaking it down and making the rough parts smooth. It reminded me of the illustration of the Potter and the clay from the Bible. We are the clay, and our Father takes us, shapes us and molds us, and sometimes he has to smash us down in order to make us into what He wants us to be. The same with the rocks on the beach. Over time they are conformed into the image of God. Grated into His glory.
Although it hurts, press on if you are in the waves. He hasn’t let go of you, He is simply making you more smooth.
If you notice my absence from blogging for the next week (maybe I can sneak a post in with my Dad’s laptop-we’ll see!) it is because I am going to be away with my parents and three sisters in South Carolinia! Yes, we are heading to the beach.
If you think about me-please pray for me while I am there. It’s not going to be quite as easy as it seems.
Keep shinning. Keep praying. Know that you are cared about. Leave me lots of love to come home to (inotherwords-comments!).
My Grandma broke her back a few weeks ago. She was in her apartment, and she fell, and broke her tailbone. When she went to the hospital they found the reason that she fell is because she had pneumonia. She had to move, and has been placed in a rehab center.
She is very confused. She is hurting. For awhile she was very uncontrolled, so much so that they moved her into the Alzymer’s unit of the center. My Grandma, although in a pretty bad position has taught me a lot about loving those who may not be lovable.
See, we are not very happy with the place she is in. Some of the staff do not treat her as gently as we would like them too. They seem to just fling her around and forget that this women has broken her BACK….it makes ME angry. Unleash the beast side of me. Once, it took them 15 minutes to respond to a call. COME ON GUYS-What if she had fallen out of bed?
Although my Grandma still claims that she broke her back from going on a space trip to Mars, she has been a saint with the ladies who hurt her. After one lady almost ran over her foot under her wheelchair, and ignored my Grandma’s cries to stop and wait, my Grandma turned to the lady to “thank her” for wheeling her back. “You know, you are so amazing, right?” (At this point I stand with my mouth catching flies because I was just about ready to chew the lady out) “I’m not just telling you that because I have company-I tell you it all the time.” “Thank you for everything.”
My Grandma personified the verse that is over-quoted and underapplied “Love your enemies.”
Come on, really now. Turn off the music, and listen really closely.
Do you hear it?
Ha. Neither do I. It’s something called “silence.”
I’m not even sure if I know what silence looks like. I’m talking PURE silence. I’m talking COMPLETE silence. I’m talking 100% quiet-in every aspect of the word. Silence of the head, as well as silence of the heart.
I love how I’m blogging this, and without even thinking, I’m going to Pandora to load up some music to listen to while I type.
Smell a hypocrite anyone?
Lately I’ve been struggling with an unrestful heart. I’ve been all over emotionally, physically and spiritually. I’ve been tempted to become easily frustrated and angry. I’ve lost interest in the things that used to in-passion me-like blogging.
Why? I ask. Where did it go? Why am I feeling this way?
I keep coming back to the same answer-I need to be silent. I need to let God work on my heart. I need to be open before Him-but I keep shoving things inside me to try and fill and avoid the fact that I need Him.
Can anyone relate?
I am reminded of the Psalm that is often over quoted, and under applied.
“Be still and know that I am God.”
When our hearts are anything but still, that is when we need to become silent the most. Have you ever thought about the idea that God just wants to be with you? Yes, He wants to shape and mold you, but He also sometimes just wants you to be silent, and let Him do some quiet work on you. It may hurt, but it also may make you feel a lot better in the long run. Stop trying to cram things into the void in your heart, and shut up. Just be silent.
Today I took the day off from being “Mom” to my two seven year old sisters and went to visit my High School friends. Let’s just say it’s 10:27pm and I’m still processing. SO much has changed. I have changed so much. Going back, it was just so, well, High School. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it! It was so much fun, but at the same time, it was so crazy. I felt so changed. I felt so much older. I felt so much more experienced and mature. I sure don’t miss the drama. I sure don’t miss the hurt, or the pain. No, I don’t miss High School. So why am I working with Senior and Junior High this summer? I didn’t really know before, I just felt lead, but I know now. I want to make sure that no one felt the way that I did in High School. I want to show them the love of Jesus, and the worth they can find in HIS eyes. I want to show them that there’s more to life, and that God is bigger, and greater then anything. There IS a reason for living, and His name is Jesus.
Garment of Praise 
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