Garment of Praise

 Last Day of Work

The last officual day of work really snuck up on me. I woke up early (as had been my rutine) to meditate and do some devos and I felt that framiliar pang, knowing I would be leaving soon. After breakfast I was re-assigned to Mrs. Fike’s house. I talked with her for a little bit with Elizabeth T. She talked about her grandkids who were in a really difficult siguation, about her dog and how she misses it and about how she wants to die. It was really sad. Working on the worksite was really frustrating for me. I couldn’t even screw in a screw right. I felt really stupid. Fortunetly Dawson was patient with me and Adam gave me simple jobs he knew I could handle. While we were working this kid on a Bike came up-I didn’t think much about it then I turned around and it was JUSTIN! (ask me the story sometime, then you’ll realize how amazing it was that he came over!) When it came time to leave our projects I told Mrs. Fike goodbye and she gave me and all the girls on the site these angel statues. They are so beautiful. I chose one that has two angels kneeling before a cross.

 Lunch and Gary

For lunch we had chili dogs! When I walked in I saw Tara and she told me to pull up a chair and then I saw Gary, the blind man I had ministered to on Evangelism last year had was there! I was so excited. I was able to catch up with him and he even remembered about the adoption!

 Vacation Bible School

It was the last Vacation Bible School. Mariah still wasn’t there. I asked Devin, her friend where she was and she was with her Dad. I asked why he wouldn’t let her go and it was frustrating hurt my heart the answer I recieved. There’s sometimes when I wish I could do so much more for these kids. I know personally 4 of them are in neglect/ abuse siguations and when it comes time to leave….it’s so hard. But for the few hours left of VBS we just had a great time. In music we had a dance party, in snack we just all hung out. After VBS was tear down time. I hate that! I was so hard to say goodbye to the kids. After everything from VBS was taken down and the sanctuary was begining to look like a church again we went back to camp to have dinner.

 Greg Andrews and Worship

After dinner Greg Andrews spoke. He spoke on worship.

• Worship is giving honor and glory directly to Christ.
• Worship is for HIS joy and enjoyment, not ours.
• Worship is a lifestyle, not an event.
• Worship means to kiss towards or to kiss the hands of, to pay homage.
• Confession plays a role in worship.
• Worshipping in spirit-the whole body is effected.
• Are we worshipping worship or worshipping?
• Worship is a relationship with God…YOURS only.
• Worship must have a head and a heart.

 Small Groups

After the session on worship we split into small groups insted of having our normal question the speaker time. I was in Mike M’s group with Dawson, Mr. Gyatt, and Michael Strong. We had a great conversation on how do you tell if worship is just emotion or the Holy Spirit.

 KC and the Glowworms

After worship we went to go see KC and the Glowworms in concert. KC is a family comedian/music leader. He sang “fun” songs like “I just want to be a sheep” and “the cartoon song” but he also sang worship songs like Undignified where he invited up BCC and we all danced on the stage (we’re talking mashing, body surfing by Andrew and all!) then we realized after we sat down, this is a Baptist church….wooops! Oh well, Pastor Al isn’t your typical Baptist Pastor and KC and the Glow worms was doing the Electric Slide when we came in so it was okay! The whole night long we laughed and praised and it was so much fun! In the evening I drove with Katie B., Mrs. B, Katie R., Mary C., Diron, Dave and Brian back to camp. On the way we passed roadkill skunk..and had a good laugh about that. By the time we got home my abs hurt so much from laughin! We went to bed almost straight away because it was lights out time. During the night Tara came into my bed and I just had a great conversation with her about life and the girls.

 Friday-It’s difficult to say goodbye

When I woke up I was so warm, I didn’t want to get up because I knew that ment I had to clean up, pack up and leave. Leaving was very difficult. When all was said and cleaned and Elizabeth and I climbed into Clifford with Dawson I knew I wouldn’t see Mariah for another year, that the people at the Convelesant Home would remain alone, that Mrs. Fike still wanted to die, but I still was on that high. I remembered the lessons I’ve learned. As I watched the mountians drift into the distance, country roads being replaced by concrete I remembered I was in the hand of God and I was going back to where HE wanted me to be, maybe not where I wanted to be, but he knows best.

Update:

There was a day on the trip where I really missed Melisa. It was like no other. Everything reminded me of her, and it broke me down. I prayed that maybe she would write me or that I’d hear from her somehow…and when I got home there was an email dating to the 6th, the day I prayed she would email me. How cool is that?

I still miss WV, time flies by and it still brings me to my knees. I wouldn’t trade my memories for the world. I really will miss late night lightening storm talks with Katie B., Snuggle time with Tara, the fellowship, the brokenness, the laughter and my kids but you know what? That’s the beauty of it all, I can remember those times and God still works through my memories!

This is a continuation of my journey in WV. If you have not read Sunday, Monday and Tuesdays entries then please scroll down and read them first.

Wednesday:Mrs. Fike

Today, for the very first time I went to my worksite. It was weird to actually not be there for the first day, but it turned out okay that way. We are working on the site of an 84 year old woman named Mrs. Fike. She can’t get around easily, or go up and down stairs so we built her a 60ft. wheelchair ramp. For the first two hours of work I sat inside and just spent some time talking with her and learning more about her. She has 6 kids and 4 died at birth. I was looking at her family Bible and she had a picture of one of the dead ones (in casket that is!) and she was telling me about how some Mothers give up their children but she had to give them up. I was able to read to her out of Psalms and talk to her about death. She misses her dog VERY much and it was awesome because I had just lost Patriot so I was able to talk with her from experience. After we talked I went to go help the team. Adam, Dawson, Greg, Graham, and Robyn were all on site so I help up the boards in place while Greg and Robyn screwed them in. At one point they layed the earlier boards wrong so we were really off level so we had to redue a few boards, at first I was really frustrated but actually it wasn’t that hard and took only a few minutes to redue. We learned a lot from that one though! There were SO many gnats. I must have killed about 10 with one stroke of my hand. It was so weird because you’d go to get them out of your face and it would just feel like you were killing a whole colony. After we had come to a stopping point Big Jon made us some amazing hamburgers. I’m telling you, they were the best ever.

 Vacation Bible School

VBS time really snuck up on me. I had two more kids then yesterday which is abnormal, and being as they got backpacks if they came yesterday I didn’t know if a lot of kids would come, but more did!!! It was awesome. The day was either a hair less chaotic or I was able to handle it better. One girl, Lydia (Lydi-bird I nick named her because of her soft-spoken, frail nature) She seems to have a hard life. I wouldn’t doubt some abuse, and I know she doesn’t have a Dad in her life. It was just so amazing. I saw her transform from an extremely shy little girl to one who actually began to open up throughout the week. The whole group seemed to really begin to pull together and bond.

 Pastor Al’s Grandson

After VBS the group was waiting to go to camp or the river when one of the guys reported that they had just found out that Pastor Al’s Grandson had collapsed and hadn’t been able to be revived yet. We all circled around praying for healing and waiting, hoping that he would come through. Pastor Al is such an AMAZING man and he really has a lot on his plate. He has no Pastor to oversea the new building. He is Childrens Ministry, Youth Ministry, Shut in Ministry, Everything. At one point he broke down when he was talking about all that he has to do, he is really superman, so we knew if he lost his grandson it would devastate him.

 Mickey D’s

After VBS I rode with Mama Chapy, Mrs. E. and Mrs. B. We stopped by Mickey D’s to get some iced tea, and then went back to camp. When we got to camp Mama Chapy realized that she had forgotten a poster that she had wanted everyone to sign. So we went back to the church-we got there and the church was locked! It was kind of frustrating, but we went ahead and headed back to camp. It turned out that we were 30 minutes late, but I noticed a good amount of people were missing. Then I remembered a group of people had gone caving, it was weird that they had not come back yet. I felt a chill go down my spine, but I shrugged it off. It turned out that they had gotten lost in the cave and couldn’t find the exit. So needless to say it really felt like satan had been working overtime in our group. They did end up finding their way out thankfully.

Meditation

Mr. Andrews did our evening study after amazing worship. He spoke on Meditation. It’s something I never really thought about but really changed me. Mr. Andrews is such an amazing teacher, you just want to hug him while he’s teaching, he has such a nice, kind, caring voice.

Meditation-excersize for the mind.

• 400 years, from Malichi to Matthew God did not speak.

• Meditation-we are spiritually impoverished.

• In meditation we are building a framiliar friendship.

• Our culture has bought into a lifestyle of business.

• In trying to avoid the extremes of Mediation we’ve become weak.

• The reason of meditation is to fulfill the purpose of God.

• Meditation is to Bible Reading as Food is to the Digestive System.

• What you meditate on becomes who you are.

• It leaves an evidence of Grace in your life.

You must have

1. A desire for a closer relationship with God
2. A quiet place
3. A focused mind, the world behind you.
4. Faith that believes God wants you.

After I had a great chance to talk with Elizabeth W. and Mary about just a bunch of stuff and it was really amazing. In the evening, I found out that Pastor Al’s Grandson had been revived and was on his way to Elkins to be tested at the hospital. After that news I fell into bed and right to sleep.

 Thursday:Robyn’s House

Today it was really hard to wake up. I was so exausted in every aspect of the word. I went outside to do some TAWG (time alone with God) and it was beautiful. In the afternoon we went back to Robyns house. For those of you who don’t know this is our 3^rd year working on Robyn’s house. Robyn is a hoarder (she keeps everything) and the first year we came in we couldn’t even open up the front door it was so packed with stuff, from bags of old, rotting food to Christmas decorations, to just trash, to pictures…everything was just everywhere. Last year we cleaned a little (it wasn’t that bad) and Mrs. E. and I cleaned out her cellar. (that’s a good story, ask me sometime!) This year, when we went inside I felt my heart sink. She hadn’t had trash service, and there were over 50 bags of just trash and old, rotting food everywhere. The cat litter was everywhere. I spent the first of the morning cleaning all the bags up, and the kitchen, the rest of the time I cleaned up the bathroom. Honestly, It was like 3 years ago when I almost got sick every turn I made, but you know what, God was the calmer of my stomach and it was amazing all that I learned J. He is my strength. For lunch we had Big Jon’s AMAZING home made pizza. Seriously, it is the BEST pizza I’ve EVER tasted!

Vacation Bible School

VBS today was somewhat frustrating in that “my girl” wasn’t there. I know that through that though I’ve been able to build relationships with other girls in the group. I just love having all the kids come. I’m learning more and more about them everyday, and on one hand it breaks my heart, and on the other it mends it. The kids in Parsons are so amazing. Pastor TJ, JJ, Pastor Mark and Allen all came down today. It was awesome to see TJ with all the kids, I’m so glad he came and got a chance to meet them.

 Submission

Tonight Pastor Mark spoke on Submission.

• Serventhood in His name, Jesus is the ultimate servent.
• There’s a difference between a servent and someone who’s submissive.
• Submission grates depravity.
• Submission is the pathway to being used by God.
• Do you fight for the things that really don’t matter?
• Submission-you must learn to let go.
• Demanded submission is slavery.
• Are you godly enough to submit?

 Katie B.

That evening I had asked Katie B. if I could talk to her, I didn’t really want to, but I knew I should. I was hoping she would forget, but she didn’t. We got out the door and she asked me what was going on and I was tempted to just be like oh, forget it, it’s not that important, but I knew I had to be serious with her. I knew I could trust her and that she will always love me, but it is still hard. Talking to her opened up some of the stuff that just went on during the week and it was amazing. After I had said all I was going to say (not necessarily all I wanted to say) she just gathered me in her arms and prayed for me. I love her so much. That ment the world to me. It was cool because she was my first small group leader as a Freshman in High School and now going into my Freshman year in college it really ment a lot to me. That’s one reason why I love WV, a chance to just be brothers and sisters in Christ. I wouldn’t trade that for the world. While we were outside talking a lightening storm was taking place. It was incredible. God just showed his splendor. After she prayed for me we ran back inside and I actually did a little Irish dancing. It was really fun. I wasn’t going to do it but then I was like you know what, it will be fun..and it was a blast although I sucked. I was so glad I tried it. That whole try new things (my butterfly story!) actually happened.

By evening I was worn out. I dropped into bed and slept soundly.

To be continued….

This is a continuation of my WV journey, if you have not read Sunday and Monday please scroll down and read the previous post.

Tuesday:

Today I was assigned to the evangelism team. One time throughout the week each person will have a chance to travel to a different location (mostly Nursing, Convalescent or Assisted Living homes) After an amazing hot breakfast at “home” (Camp Kidd) we left to go the church and wait for awhile because it was early and most of the residents would not have been awake yet.

 New Building

While I was waiting I helped Miss. E. Sort through some of the name tags and organize them. I also was able to go on a tour of the new youth center that Pastor Al built. It is AMAZING! Someone died and donated one million dollars to First Baptist and with the money they have built this amazing, fun, useful youth center. They will have a room for visiting missionaries (an apartment), a work out center for senior citizens, a full basketball court, and locker rooms for men and woman, a hang out room for the youth with a stage, storage rooms and a concession stand. It really is amazing. They used the money so wisely and built something for everyone.

 Elkins Convalescent Home

We left for Elkins to visit a Convalescent home a little after 9:45. Driving my van was Mr. L and my team mates were Hunter, Mr. F., Andrew D., Michael W. and Corey, one of the local boys. The way there we had some amazing conversations about the ten commandments and creation and the Bible and tattoos and it was a long trip with windy roads but I managed not to get car sick! Woopie! When we arrived at the nursing center there were a few ladies already in the room, these were probably the worst off, non-verbal, Altimers etc. We just hung out for a few awkward minutes (10 or so) while they brought everyone in and then we went around introducing each other and then Mr. F told us to have at it, and we went around talking to the residents. The first person I talked to was a woman named Arlene. She was so sweet. She had 6 children and lots of grandchildren and was just beaming with pride in her family. She told me of her late husband, how he proposed to her and how she missed him dearly (she started misting up at that point). Her love for her family was just overwhelming. I was able to pray for her before moving onto another man. I began talking to him and another woman next to him, but she did not respond back to me so I ended up just mainly talking to him. He was in tears telling me of how lonely he was and how he missed his brothers and sisters who had since gone onto heaven. I was able to pray for comfort for him and it I really didn’t want to stop talking to him but I knew I had to move onto others because there was a number of residents that came out and I wanted everyone to be talked to. I moved onto another man who told me of having to take care of his 6 brothers and 1 sister and how although he was a middle child he had to cook and provide for them and how his Mom would leave them all alone and it was just amazing the responcibiliy he had. When we had about 15 minutes left Hunter and I found a hymnal and one of the residents played piano for us and we sang with them. We opened with “Jesus loves me” and then sang “This is the Day”, “Swing Low” and “Amazing Grace”. In the chorus of Amazing Grace where you sing “Praise God” it was amazing to look out and see them lifting feeble yet loving arms to their creator…and this wasn’t even a Christian place. It was also amazing to see one of the woman who was fairly non-verbal sing EVERY note of all the hymns….

On the way home I wrote another poem, this one was about going to the home.

“The darkness of lonliness,

Etched in their eyes,

Looming abyss,

As time passes them by,

No one cares,

No one is there.

Heart tears,

Empty stares.

Where were you?

Why didn’t you come?

I needed you.

My life’s almost done.

Only a few moments left,

Save me from death,

Will you be the one?”

 Vacation Bible School

When we got back to First Baptist we scarfed down lunch before VBS started. I had no idea how amazing it would be to see everyone again. Last year I had also done 5th and 6th grade and I loved it, as hard as it was I really felt like I had built relationships with the kids and I actually had been writing one of them throughout the year (ask me about that story sometime). Well, I came in and saw Kylie, one of the girls and then Mariah’s brother came in (the girl I had built a relationship with) but not her…I was praying so hard she’d come because technically she was too old by VBS standereds although my class quicly became 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th grade Well, all of a sudden I saw her and she came running and just threw herself into my arms and hugged me, this was a girl who was as tough as nails when I first met her it was probibly one of the best reunions I’ve had. The actual VBS time was crazy. The kids were pretty out of control. A lot of them knew me and Mike (my co-leader) and were just so excited to be there they were literally jumping off the walls. By the end of the day I was exausted. I wanted to just lie down and sleep but I waited for the vans to take us back home. Back at camp I took a shower and then had dinner and did the dishes with the amazing dishwasher. After dishes we had some more amazing worship and a sermon on Simplicity by Ian Mc. F. Again, here are some notes:

Simplicity

• Why do we write off simplicity?

• The prodlem isn’t the wealth but the idol that it becomes.

• Simplicity boils down to the first commandment (Have no other God’s before me)

• God is our sole master and guide.

• The true poor know what poverty is, we don’t.

• The posture of welcoming (spreading the arms) is the symbol of the cross.

• You’ve got this message, get used to it and USE IT!

It was really challenging in a different way then Nace’s message. Nace’s was more heart work, this was head work. I was so tired, and I could feel saten trying to distract me but I didn’t let him. Ha, take that!

 Craft and Chat

After I helped Mama Chapy punch holes in planets and stars for craft time. We sang “Give me One Pure and Holy Passion” and it reminded me of Melisa so I was able to talk to Mama Chapy a little bit about that and I was able to talk about the adoption journey and just some of the things I am still going through and it was awesome. I finally got to bed around 11 and fell asleep pretty quickly and slept soundly.

To be continued….

 Sunday:

We left the church after second service on August 6^th. I was assigned to a car with a guy I didn’t even know, but got to know through the week. His name is Dawson and he was a friend of Ian’s from Canada. We drove in his 5 day old beautiful Silverado (sp?) Truck. It was a bright red and I fondly nick named it Clifford because he did not name it yet. I rode with Elizabeth W. and Rachel W. 4 hours later we arrived in Parsons. I unloaded my stuff on one of the single beds by the wall with Elizabeth on one side and Katherine on the other. I made my bed and then headed off to the wonderful dinner that First Baptist had provided for us. Barbeque, chicken, steak, salads, breads…everyone brings something. Normally an amazing southern casserole. I spent most of my time talking to a woman who had adopted two boys from Russia 5 years ago. It was raining, but that didn’t stop us. The kids were enjoying the slip and slide despite the drizzle and a few games of Frisbee and football were taking place. I also finally talked with my dear friend/small group leader/ mentor/ amazingness Katie B. She goes to Virginia Tech and I had not really talked to her in a loooonnnggg time. It was weird because I met her as  Freshman in college and now I’m a freshman in High School. It sort of hit this week, but more on that story later.

Monday:

We found out our assignments for our work team today. I was assigned to the work team of Adam, one of the local WV young men (In his early 20’s). I was also assigned to work with Katie B. to my delight, along with Graham and a few other people that ended up being switched to other teams. My team merged with Dawsons team making the “Awesome team” Adam + Dawson = Awesome. J  Our project was to work on the site of Mrs. Fike but for the first day we were assigned as the VBS crew.

We helped set up VBS. In the morning I spray painted dog bones for making the craft of “robo dogs.” Outside breathing fumes and feeling like I had inhailed spray paint it was REALLY fun! It didn’t take that long so I was able to also set up some of the backdrop/ prop stuff in Parsons sanctuary. We set up until 12 when we had an amazing lunch served by Big John, his wife, the Pastor’s wife and a few of the other woman of the church. We had subs, soup and salad.

In the afternoon, after lunch I had the privledge of heading up the backpack stuffing burgadge. It was so amazing. Me, Katie R., Mrs. B., Jill and and Mrs. Mc.F packed 64 backpacks with glue, pencils, markers, paper, folders, binders etc. I came up with the idea to write “You are loved” on the first page of each paper pack and Katie helped me execute it. We prayed individually over every backpack and then Katie and I prayed over the group of backpacks as a whole. It ment so much to me to know that these kids wouldn’t be teased about not having school supplies but they’d have NEW backpacks with NEW supplies.

Much to our surprise not only did Nace come up after lunch but he brought along Chapy, Jenna and Brett. That was a sweet surprise.

Normally after lunch and VBS we go down to the river to swim but the undercurrent was too strong so everyone came back to camp. We had an amazing dinner cooked by the kitchen staff at Camp Kidd, the 4-H camp we stay at.

In the evening we had our worship and teaching time. Each person is told to come 5-10 minutes early into the main room to prepare their hearts for worship and message. It’s amazing how much that changes things. We had an amazing time of worship, nothing could compare to the teaching though. That blew me away. Pastor Nace taught on Confession, I knew it would be a heart gripping sermon, but I had no clue just how much the Holy Spirit would meddle and convict. On Sunday I wrote a poem about plastic people at church. How no one is real anymore, and because they’re not real with me I don’t feel like I can be real with them. I wrote:

Close my eyes,

Covered by lies,

I weave my deception web.

Pretending to have it together,

Knowing it could be better,

There’s so much I left unsaid.

But this game of deception lies in wait,

For an unsuspecting heart to take,

Striking with venom, leaving them dead.

The halo of perfection,

Covered in deception,

Lies graced upon my head.

The chains of regret,

The plans were set,

But I can’t rewind.

Remember back, into fading time.

Only embrace what is today.

Through it all, the questions continue to say,

Mask unveiled, will you stay?

And it was similar to what he talked about….below are my notes.

Confession

Teacher: Nace Lanier

• How do you move from head knowledge to heart knowledge? You must actually DO IT!

• A humbled life is a life of confession.

• We miss the humility when we put on the façade of humility.

• The more I profess truth the more room there is for Christ to invade the room left by truth.

• In darkness living things die. In light, they thrive.

• Exposure is costly, but then it erases all the marks of the past.

• To mortify is to put something to death. Mortify the sin in your life in COMPLETE.

• A tug on the heart-I’m not where I should be.

• The end product of confession should equal JOY.

• When you receive a confession God must be in the center of the person being confessed to and the confessor. The cross must be before you.

I really felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me to go and talk to Nace about some of my frustrations and I REALLY didn’t want to go. I was shaking…like I’m telling you literally shaking. Once I got to my feet it’s like I was just pushed. My legs didn’t want to move, but they did. And I sat down, and Nace got down from his chair and I showed him my poem, and he read over it and then was like “Wow, did you see the Bible verse on the end of the page?” And I was like nooo, I just wrote it, and he read it and it said “For the sake of His great name the Lord will not reject His people, because the Lord is pleased to make you His own” 1 Sam. 12:22. Um, WOW! And then I started pouring out my heart about how I feel like no one is real and when God does bring someone in my life he takes them away and how it’s overwhelming me and I can’t see how God still loves me he said some things that I KNOW only the Holy Spirit could have told him to say….and it. Was. So. Amazing. After, I pretty much ran outside and just sat on the bleachers for awhile. The Holy Spirit was moving in my heart in ways I’ve never felt before. When I couldn’t stand the cold any longer I went back inside to get my hoodie.

Coming out I showed my poem to Eliz. T. and then I showed it to Brett. It was interesting because we had just had this conversation about how she’s always on the phone with her boyfriend and how I can’t really talk to her anymore, and her boyfriend calls. So she leaves and I go in the main hall to find Brett. He wasn’t there, but I found Tara..and we just hugged and loved on eachother for seriously, like 10 minutes. I love my sister. After, I walked outside and Brett was coming in so I showed him my poem, and then Katie B. I was just so excited about how God had showed me the verse.

 I bumped into Katie R. and we got to talking and we sat on the bleachers and she explained to me some of the things that she was struggling with, and it was amazing because before we left Melisa and I had this conversation about Jesus being our romancer and our lover and it was incredible how God brought Katie R. to me to be able to carry on that same conversation and to give some of Melisa’s wisdom to her.

 By time of lights out (11:00) I was exhausted emotionally, physically and spiritually but I was way too hyped up to fall asleep, so it took me awhile. Little did I know this experience would not be the only time I was challenged to actually think, to step out of my comfort zone in extreme ways and to try and grasp a huge amount of challenge and sort through it.

To be continued….