I have a confession
16 Jul 2010 Leave a Comment
in Christianity, life, videos
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Sometimes we are the most critical judges we will face. Sometimes we hold ourselves up to standards that are unreasonable and unrealistic. Sometimes we do things just to make people love us or to get their attention instead of seeking Christ’s attention and affections. See, I have a confession to make. Although it has improved, sometimes it’s hard for me to view myself from God’s eyes. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I hate myself.There are times that I hate who I’ve been in my past and the mistakes I’ve made.There are times I want to run away because it would be easier then facing the things I am facing. I know I am not alone. Truth of the matter is that we do not and should not define ourselves and we do so too often (or let the voices of others define us). Once Christ enters our life, it is Christ who defines us. The other day I was reminded of a skit. I share it with you in hopes it will encourage you to see yourself through the eyes of Christ.
03 May 2009 1 Comment
in Christianity, church, God Moments, life, videos
It’s been awhile since I dusted off the old blog, I know. I’m sorry. God has been doing some crazy stuff in my life. I’m finishing up my associates degree, and moving along to my bachlor’s degree next fall which will require transferring colleges, and moving. I’m incredibly excited about what God is going to do, and what he is doing in my life now. So, what is He doing lately?
The Puritans believed that in order to reach heaven you had to pass through a “wilderness” or a period of testing given by God. I’ll admit, lately I’ve felt as though I went through a sort of wilderness in my life. This wilderness is nothing compared to the “winter of loss” as I call it, but it’s been a long year. Through it all, all of the testing, and all of the taking away, part of me just cries out to be heard by the Savior of the Universe. The other part of me tries to be stubbornly strong saying that I don’t need him, but I know I can’t even breathe without Him. In all reality where I am finding myself now is best. What a perfect place to be when you’re being completely broken before the savior of the universe. It’s also incredibly uncomfortable to be broken by the hand of God so our flesh naturally fights against it. I prayed for Him to break the idols in my life and He is responding by smashing them down. It’s beautiful, but it hurts. When you hold things before God that are substitutes for His glory and His love, how can he stand by and let you ruin your life? If you DON’T feel him ripping your idols away, you should be concerned. I knowthat I am His because of the way that He is disciplining me for my unfaithfulness. In contrast to my unfaithful actions, His faithfulness is showing up in ways I have never experienced before through this. I don’t regret anything over this past year because I feel as though I have grown more then I have in years past, but let me tell you nothing is worth the amount of pleasure it brings unless it’s actions point directly to the cross of Christ. So many times I’ve pursued things that I thought were right only to realize that I was moving only on my feelings. I am reminded that this Christian life is not about “feelings.” Just because I may not “feel” God doesn’t not mean He is not there, oh no, it means He is all the more closer, I just have to shut up enough to listen to Him. Just because this doesn’t “feel” good does not mean that God is not using this for His glory. I expect this. I expect pain and suffering, I am not perfect and there’s times that I grow frustrated, but that’s growth isn’t it? Do you know how muscles are strengthened? In order to make muscles larger they develop small tears that end up swelling (or so I was just told). Feeling sore isn’t always comfortable, but you know that you are developing something that will benefit you in the long run (no pun intended!).
I look forward to getting back into the swing of sharing life with you, my wordpress blog friends (and my facebook feed stalkers). To God be the glory.
Sinners in the Hand of an Angry God
27 Feb 2009 1 Comment
in Christianity, church, college, videos Tags: American Literature, Christ, crushed, English 241, God, hell, Jonathan Edwards, Sinners in the hands of an angry God
English 241. Survey of American Lit class. Just a bunch of your average secular college students, a couple of Christians thrown into the mix. Our assignment? To read “Sinners in the Hand of an Angry God” by Jonathan Edwards. Have you read it? It’s….powerful. People don’t like to talk about hell. People don’t like to think about it. In writing this post, I’m probably not going to be liked, but I’ll write it anyway.
To summarize it, it comes down to the fact that Edwards says that we are like spiders in the hand of God and he is dangling us over the fire of hell. There is nothing keeping us from the wrath of God except for himself. He is literally holding himself back from releasing His vengeance on us, and destroying us. Edwards says we were born with these “seeds” of sin inside of us, and that alone is enough to condemn us to hell. Although Edwards maybe considered a little “too extreme” and perhaps he was, I think he is right in a lot of areas that we need to recognize again in the 21st century. We’ve forgotten a lot about the character of God that we need to come back to. We focus so much on the love of God that we forget the wrath that He saved us from.
God has every right to blow us out like an overused birthday candle. He has every right to let us go and watch us fall into the pit of hell. He has every right to push us off the slippery slope of this thing we call life. We have done NOTHING that amounts to anything in His books. We have done nothing to deserve His favor or grace. Is our religion really just a “get out of hell free” card like many of us seem to make it be? Why are so many of us living lives of sin apart from God but claiming to know what he freed us from? Is living life contrary to Christ once you really know Him even possible? Do you even understand the sacrifice Christ has made for us? I don’t think I do.
God had NO REASON to send Jesus to the cross. No reason. You say “It’s because of His love” that He died for us, yes, that is true, but what motivated his love? What made Him love when we had done nothing but broken His heart? “Oh, but-He loved us.” You say. YES, He did, but WHY? Why did He have mercy on us? Why did He have grace? We’ve done nothing to deserve Him but we walk around pretending that we have.
America we need to get on our knees and beg for Christ. The sacrifice has been paid in full, but we must continue to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling.” Am I implying that salvation is on basis of works? Absolutely not!!!!! Am I saying that if you are truly marked by the spirit of Christ that you can lose your salvation? No, not at all. I am saying that we’ve taken advantage of the salvation of our Lord for far too long. We need to become broken in the arms of Christ and remember what he delivered us from. “When was the last time you wept over your sins?” as Paul Washer loves to ask. Well, when was it? When was the last time you became completely broken before God realising what a dreadful person you are and how much you don’t deserve Him. We take advantage of God. We take Him for granted. Repentance. Remembrances. Let us remember how much we need our Lord. How without Him we’d be destined for Hell. Let hell become real to you so that Christ’s saving power can become more real to you. God CRUSHED His son. He destroyed Him in order to save YOU.
View His love in the context of His justice. View His grace in the context of His mercy. Oh how great is His love for us that He would send His son to die a terrible death for a sinner like me. Brokenness has never been so sweet as when you realize your need for a savior. Let’s remember who He is. Just exist before Him with the knowledge of what He’s done for You. Let it change your life.
My Brightness
19 Sep 2008 2 Comments
in church, friends, Music, videos Tags: Charlie Hall, Christianity, life, lyrics, My brightness, religion, rock, spinning
I am a rock on the floor of the ocean. I lie without power, without the ability to breathe, without life. I am tossed by the constant ebb and flow of the waves. The rocks surrounding me crash into me, time and time again. Over time I’ve become calloused, chipped, and now smooth. Constantly, I am under pressure. Constantly I am under the stress of the sand, rocks, and waves. There never is a break in the waters oceans, never is there a break. I am small. I am insignificant under this pile of rocks.
One day I bump into a rock much larger then I. I roll, I am spinning, I crash, then suddenly, I find a place where I fit like a piece of a puzzle fits into a space created for it. I see how through time life has chipped and edged off the uneven surface that would have prevented me from finding my rest in this larger rock. It was like we were ment to be together all along. The rock was not created for me, but I was created for the rock. How can this be?
My days in the rough waters are far from over, but I’ve found my place of rest. My Brightness. For a moment I linger in this spot of safety before I’m pushed back into the ocean. It’s okay this time, because I know that the longer I exist in this sea, the more I am conformed to the image my creator desires.
I’ve been hit from every corner,
I’ve been thrown from side to side,
I’m cracked up on the inside, so I come to you for life,
Your presence always heals me, so I want to drink it in,
you know where we’re going God,
You know where I’ve been.
Your love is like a rock
when I’m spinning
your love is like a rock
When I’m spinning
Your love is like a rock
when I’m spinning around.Yesterday I felt so angry
Today so insecure
I hate it that I wrestle
the God that I adore
Your presence always heals me
so I want to drink it in
You know where we’re going God
You know where I’ve been.
And Your love is like a rock
when I’m spinning
your love is like a rock
When I’m spinning
Your love is like a rock
when I’m spinning…..And I know less about you
my heart loves you so much more
your my pride in sadness
your my brightness.I wish this thing could pass from me
but I’m wanting what you want
so bring me high or bring me low
just hold me in your loveAnd Your love is like a rock
when I’m spinning
your love is like a rock
When I’m spinning
Your love is like a rock
when I’m spinning
your love is like a rock
when I’m spinning around.
~Charlie Hall, My Brightness
Eyes
21 Apr 2008 Leave a Comment
in college, life, videos Tags: Bible, Christianity, Louie Giglio, might, Passion, Psalm, strength
Today I was listening to this amazing video by Louie Giglio (the main guy for Passion Conferences which I went to in February) and he quoted a verse that I had never heard before. I don’t know how I missed it, being as I’ve read the whole book of Psalms before (so, I guess I have heard it before, it just didn’t hit me), but when He quoted it, I understood it for the very first time.
“From heaven the LORD looks down
and sees all mankind;
from his dwelling place he watches
all who live on earth-
he who forms the hearts of all,
who considers everything they do.
No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.
A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.
But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.
We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.”~Psalm 33:13-22~
The eyes of the Lord look down on man. Even closer, the eyes of the Lord look down on YOU. Wow. Stronger then a horse in battle, mightier then any aircraft we have, more powerful then any bomb or nuclear devise, our God stands ready to save and deliver His children from harm. He cares about you. He loves you. He keeps you from harm, and holds you in His arms. He loves you.
Team Hoyt
10 Apr 2008 Leave a Comment
in church, friends, life, videos Tags: dedication, disabled, endurence, Father, handicapped, hope, love, strength
Having a dear friend with cerebral palsy, when I saw this in church a number of years ago, it was all I could do to not cry. My friend Melisa reminded me of it a week ago, and I’m just remembering to put it on my blog. I triple dog dare you to watch this, and not be touched.
(since wordpress will not let me embed it, here is the link)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPSUrR3ipQc
I’m sorry for the lack of depth in my posts recently. Job interviews, tests, and papers have prevented me from writing for enjoyments sake.
It’s about more!
22 Mar 2008 Leave a Comment
in church, life, videos Tags: Bunny, Christianity, Easter, glory, honor, Jesus, Praise, Skit Guys
I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.
After all the cellophane has stopped crinkling, and your lying in pain from all the chocolate you have just eaten take a moment to move the bunny and think about what Easter was created to mean. Think about the defeat of death. Think about the disciples reaction. Think about the hope his appearance brought, and the hope it continues to bring. I’m praying this year, all my readers (all three of them) will understand, and be able to wrap there minds on just a portion of the victory we are given in Christ.
I pray you will understand the depth of His love for you. I pray you will understand His death, but the life that is found in it.
May we live to forever praise His name. May we live to glorify and honor Him.
The Reality of Judgment
14 Mar 2008 1 Comment
in church, death, Family, friends, life, videos Tags: Christianity, Jesus, Paul Washer, Revelation, sermon, sermon jam, teaching
The Prosperity Gospel
07 Mar 2008 Leave a Comment
in church, college, videos Tags: American Church, Christianity, Emergent church, Jesus, life, Prosperity Gospel, suffering
I was listening to the radio this morning, to a station in Baltimore. Understand I live in NORTHERN VIRGINIA. I don’t know WHY I got that station, but I did. I’m listening away, and they start talking about the Prosperity Gospel. My ears peak. As someone who is very passionate about the Prosperity Gospel, I listen when anyone talks about it, because it is close to my heart. I’m against the spread of Prosperity gospel. I think it’s crap, and I’m not alone with my thoughts. The man on the radio said something that struck me. He said “Yes! It is TRUE that God loves to bless you. Yes, it is TRUE that God provides for you, but, why should we expect that from God? We are supposed to be CHRIST followers!! We’re supposed to be like Him in every way. To expect anything short of suffering is selfishness.” Wow. Um. Kick me in the butt. Why do I expect blessings from God? My old Youth Pastor spoke on Sunday about the Mountain of Blessings and the Mountain of Cursings. This ties into what he was saying.
The things is:
God loves us. He wants the best for us.
God sent his son Jesus to the world to save us.
We are called to be like Jesus and to “share in His sufferings.”
The problem is, I think as the American church don’t even UNDERSTAND what the word suffering means. We think it’s tithing more then we normally do. We think it’s having our co-workers gossip about us. Oh look at us and our “sufferings.”
We’re made up of marshmallow fluff when we were called to be rocks. Unmoving, and unflinching. We form to match our culture when we were called to be COUNTER CULTURE. Do you want to be relevant? Then be HONEST. Be DIFFERENT. Be Jesus, no not the Jesus you want to see, be the Jesus of the Bible?
What does my generation want? What does it need? We do not need the prosperity gospel. We do not need things to be relevant, or emerging, we need things to be REAL. We need Jesus. Sure, some of us want our ears tickled, but the rest of us are drowning in the inch deep, Jesus loves me and wants to bless me church. We are dying of starvation.
It’s wrong. The Prosperity Gospel is wrong.
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