when I…
28 Sep 2010 Leave a Comment
in photography
When I don’t know how to feel
You steady my heart
When I find no breath to breath
You fill my lungs with oxygen
when I don’t have strength to stand
You steady my legs
when I don’t have the ability to walk
You teach me how to crawl to You
When I feel like giving up
you give me the ability to hold on
when I feel like no one understands
and I have no voice to explain what’s inside
and I feel that no one gets me
and I’m frustrated
and I’m alone
and I’m angry
and I’m hurting
and I’m wanting to hurt
and I’m confused
and I’m in chaos
and I’m laughing one moment
and I’m feeling like I was knifed the other
finding myself frustrated that I’m even feeling
You remind me You too were human
You got angry
You laughed
You were abandoned by your friends
You felt alone
You felt confused
and You understand how I feel
and then I realize…
We are not alone.
Fallen
03 Jun 2008 1 Comment
in photography, Pictures, Poetry Tags: creation, fallen, God, musings, Poetry, ponderings
Your divine hand stretches over the sky,
Light beaming from your fingertips.
Rain pouring down upon your people,
We are tossed and turned by the waves.
Standing with mouths aghast,
At the splendor of your power.
Falling facedown in awe,
Who is this God?
Another world away,
You stand weeping before us,
Your tears liter our streets,
“You are fallen” “You are fallen”
You cry as the skies open.
Weeping for the nations,
Upon them you proclaim your wrath,
It wasn’t supposed to be like this,
“You are fallen, You are fallen”
A mother holds her child,
Kissing her goodbye.
“Why God Why?” She asks.
“You are fallen You are fallen.”
You hold her while she cries.
I stand stairing out the window,
Conversations in my mind,
Reminders of this fallen side,
Time passing me bye.
Why must it hurt so much?
“You are fallen, You are fallen.”
My fallen nature makes you clearer today,
I’m sorry for how I hurt you so.
I am fallen. I am fallen,
Please, make me whole.
Friendship
04 May 2008 3 Comments
in church, friends, life, photography, Pictures Tags: distance, friendship, love, relationships, saying goodbye
A friends presence.
It’s such an amazing thing. Sometimes, people don’t even have to say a thing. I just want them to be with me. A reassuring look, a comforting hand, a laugh when I don’t want to laugh, a smile, just being beside someone. I love just being with the people. I love hitting Starbucks, or the park, or the best grocery store/deli/bakery/everything in one store. I love going on walks. I love being outside. I love people watching with someone by my side. I love pickles and random, really random spir the moment occations.
I hate distance. I hate being apart from the ones I love. I hate not being able to see them, or feel them next to me, but, no matter what, with some friends, it’s just so different. It’s like you never are apart. You’re always thinking of them. Always holding them in your heart. You share a connection. A strong bond that cannot be crippled by distance, or disagreements.
Then it hits me. Do I want God this much? Do I hate being apart from him? Do I crave his affections? Am I jealous of Him, and He of me? Do I desire to be in His presence at all times? Do I ache when I don’t “see” Him?
Do you?
Sleepless Nights
30 Apr 2008 1 Comment
in photography, Pictures Tags: Fernando Ortega, lyrics, Music, photography
Another sleepless night
I’m turning in my bed
Long before the red sun risesIn these early hours
I’m falling again
Into the river of my worriesWhen the river runs away
I find a shelter in your nameJesus, only light on the shore
Only hope in the storm
Jesus, let me fly to your side
There I would hide, JesusHear my anxious prayer
The beating of my heart
The pulse and the measure of my unbelief
Speak your words to me
Before I come apart
Help me believe in what I cannot see
Before the river runs away
I will call upon your nameJesus, only light on the shore
Only hope in the storm
Jesus, let me fly to your side
There I would hide, Jesus~Sleepless Nights, Fernando Ortega~
One generation
28 Apr 2008 1 Comment
in life, photography, Poetry Tags: generation, God, lyrics, Poetry
One generation.
We stand to unite a nation,
We rise above the social norm,
Taking on the world like a storm.
One generation,
Standing on a firm foundation,
Forsaking ourselves,
Finding others rubbish as wealth,
One generation,
concering temptation,
Shameless, strong, and brave,
we see soals to save.
One generation,
With no admiration,
From the rich and mighty,
but everything from our almighty.
One generation,
standing in despiration,
For the spirit of God to move,
wicked to remove.
One generation,
Tired of the expectation,
tired of being plain,
Throwing away everything for HIS name.
One generation,
Without hesitation,
Not bending, breaking or backing down,
Not keeping quiet, filling the world with sound.
One generation,
with an operation the size of a population,
seeing no failure, or stronghold,
with Christ making us bold,
We concer and move mountian in His name,
And the earth will never be the same.
One generation.
More like Jesus
19 Apr 2008 2 Comments
in friends, life, photography Tags: black and white, Christianity, Flowers, friends, IHOP, Jesus, kids, life, photography, Pictures
So many times I live my life looking through a construction cone (purple to be exact).
I can only see the situations right before me.
I can only see the purple reflection of the cone walls.
Like a child, a fail to realize that this world is more then just the situations I find myself in.
Today, I stare at the computer screen. I want to be outside. It is warm, and happy.
Instead I find myself trapped by the walls of stress and homework.
Oh poor me.
Then I get to thinking about the people who don’t even HAVE computers.
I get to thinking about those who don’t HAVE a chance to get a college education.
I get thinking about people who don’t even HAVE water, as I slurp down .9 fluid ounces.
I need to be more like Jesus. I need to see beyond myself.
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Today I went to IHOP with some friends.
Our waiter was really nice. He was so funny. He made me laugh.
My friends, as always made me laugh.
I looked around, and I realised, they’re all going to die, and they don’t know Jesus.
It hit me hard.
I wonder if the waiter knew Jesus. Did I show him Jesus?
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In the parking lot we got to talking.
I was wearing my pink “Would It Bother Us More If They Used Guns?” Abort 73 (www.abort72.com) shirt.
They don’t really understand abortion. Neither do I, but not in the same way they don’t understand.
I do understand abortion, thanks to Abort 73, and that is the problem.
We got to talking about grace and forgiveness.
I was telling them how God sees every sin the same, and how there is grace for the woman who aborts their child as well as the person who murders someone, if they ask for it.
who knew that by wearing a simple t-shirt I could start a conversation about grace?
Did my friends, did they hear Jesus?
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My little sister comes to me.
She’s crying.
She feels left out.
My other little sister made a friend, and she is playing with her.
One side of me wants to tell her to get used to it,
and how she can’t expect my other little sister to always play with her.
but the mother takes over.
I’m a softie.
Did she see Jesus in me?
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Don’t get me wrong.
I look nothing like Jesus.
Just a girl pretending to smell the flowers at the grocery store.
And her best friend taking her picture.
The flowers are fake. I know that.
Was that a smile I saw?
I want to be more like Jesus.
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