Forgiveness. It comes so easy, as long as I don’t have to forgive the person who has directly wronged me. I’m ashamed to admit, it is easier for me to forgive a man who kills someone who I do not know (NOT SAYING THAT IS RIGHT, and that I don’t feel anger towards the situation, but I don’t remember it) then for me to forgive someone who has wounded me who I see every week. It’s so easy for me to tell others that they need to forgive in order to be free, but when it comes down to forgiveness in my life, it is something I REALLY struggle with.
Now, I’d quickly say I’m not one to take revenge. I just don’t see the point of it. Yet, as I come to think about it, I do seek revenge. Maybe not in the physical sense, but when someone crosses me, and does something that damages me, I admit that my heart desires that they feel my pain. That they fully understand what they have done to me, I’m not going to go and kill them, or beat them up, but in the emotional sense, I want them to feel my pain too. I know full well what the Bible has to say about revenge.”Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.” Wow, baby. That’s some serious stuff. Why is that often times not enough for me? Sure, I can blame it on my sin nature, but that is NO EXCUSE. It’s got to change.
I’m addicted to Barlow Girl. I admit it freely, and openly. Recently I was listening to a song on their CD, and it really hit me for the first time as I actually thought about my beloved lyrics. The song is called “Sweet Revenge”
“Did you see that I was hurt?
Did you know that you had left me crying there?
Now I’m holding all you words close till you feel this pain too
But you live on so unaware
While I thought somehow this hate would heal me
But this hate is never ending and it’s only killing me
Oh sweet revenge you’ve lied again
Chorus:
I find I can’t get free
till I release this vengeance that I seek
Forgive you the only thing I want to live
I’m ready to be free, to be free
Maybe you’ve been wounded too
Maybe all this is your self protection
All the hurts you thought were hidden
Are the one now hurting me
So who will make the pattern end?
Chorus
Break these chains
Won’t see this through
‘Cause setting you free means my freedom too.”
You see, freedom only can come once you stop holding the biterness and anger eat at you. You say, Joy, you don’t understand the depth of wrong that has been done to me! Maybe I don’t….but do you understand the depth of sorrow you caused our Father?
One of the questions for my Pastor was “what’s the line of forgiving someone unconditionally or letting them take advantage of you?”
He said “Well, what does the Bible say about it?”
Me:(dumbly) I don’t know……
Him: 70×7.
Ouch. Yet, at the same time I have a responsibility to distance myself from the person or situation if their actions become a stumbling block, or damage me. Until it reaches that point, I have to forgive.
And forget, that’s the hardest part. There’s so many times that I think I’ve forgiven someone, then it comes back to bite me in the butt when I remember how they’ve wronged me. True forgiveness is forgetting.
The Bible says “Our sins are removes as far as the East is from the West.” A few months ago Ash and I were sitting in Frontline, and the Pastor made the comment about how the East never runs into the West, as far as you go, you’ll always just go East, or West. North to South, if you head out North you’ll end up going South at a point. We NEVER thought about that. We turned and just started laughing at our stupidity, but then we were humbled at the thought of it all. I mean, this is HUGE. I remember a lot of my sins, but my Father doesn’t remember any. WOW. That’s true forgiveness.
What would our world look like if every believer practiced TRUE forgiveness?
I think we’d have a different planet.
It starts with one.
One person to forgive.
One person to love.
You know, this whole being like Jesus thing is ruining my life, and yet, it is so beautiful! I pray he wreaks your life and together we will become ruined for Him.
sofnas Said:
on January 30, 2008 at 9:00 am
Nice article. I’d love to you read my entry http://sofnas.wordpress.com/2008/01/25/situations-interpreted/
and tell me what you think.
Jack Said:
on January 30, 2008 at 9:41 am
What if you’re stuck in the same sin and can’t seem to overcome it or stop, does God still keep forgiving you? We’re supposed to keep forgiving each other but does God keep forgiving us, or does he eventually say enough is enough?
Andrew Wilson Said:
on August 22, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Christ called us to forgive 70×7 thats not to say its an exact number. Brother I was stuck in a right for a long time with alcahol and pre marrital sex all the while proclaiming to be a christian. I can tell you that my life is right with God and I am frogiven and saved by grace. You have to be willing to put down whatever it is what your doing. If God simply granted you freedom from your addiction and it was easy, you would want to go back to it. But when you fight through the “detox” of whatever it is your giving up you realize what a mess you have made, and that only your Father can make you whole again.
garmentofpraise Said:
on January 30, 2008 at 10:01 am
Hi Jack.
You raise a good question! Okay, this is the way that I see it. When you became a Christian (assuming that you are one) the Bible say that you become a NEW CREATION!!! The old has gone, and the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17) Because of this, you’re not going to want to keep on sinning, you’re going to WANT to turn away from the sin, because sin no longer has a hold on you.
Yes,as Christ followers we are still tempted (I struggle my fair share) Yes, we still fall, but if it becomes a habit, then you need to re-evaluate are you a new creation in the first place?
You know, the very question that you asked (what if you are stuck in sin?) is found in the Bible. If you take a look at Romans 6:1-14 (it would be quite a lengthy post if I wrote it out, but you can go to http://www.biblegateway.com and enter the verse, and it will come up. In summary, the answer Paul tells us is that we have died to sin, and we can’t continue to live in it anymore, as a lifestyle. 1st John also has a lot to say about this (sinning and the true believer). I encourage you to look at the verses, and the word of God as your answer, but I hope that this helps. Let me know if this makes sense, and if you have any questions.
Keep questioning, keep struggling,
Joy
garmentofpraise Said:
on January 30, 2008 at 10:05 am
Hey Sofnas,
Thanks for stopping by! I will check out your link for sure. Stop by any time!
Joy
mydogivy Said:
on January 31, 2008 at 1:11 am
“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”
Lewis B. Smedes
garmentofpraise Said:
on January 31, 2008 at 9:36 am
Hey mydogivy, thank you for the quote, it is awesome!
Jack Said:
on February 1, 2008 at 7:44 am
Makes sense. I do want to stop sinning, more than anything, but just don’t seem strong enough. I thought I was saved and a new creature, but as you said now I question that. Maybe I did it wrong or something. It’s like I have to be perfect. I don’t understand how it’s all supposed to magicly change. I don’t think I’m going to make it.
The sruggle is overwhelming.
garmentofpraise Said:
on February 1, 2008 at 8:56 am
Jack! Thanks for coming back, dude! You know what? You AREN’T strong enough to make it on your own. That’s the beauty of the Christian life, we’re NEVER alone. Because we all have put on the new nature, we are “new” together! Is there anyone in your life who is also a believer who you could talk to about your sin, and who could hold you accountable? I encourage you to talk to your Pastor, or a trusted friend about what you’re going through, and have them help you out. God does not call us to perfection, the problem is that we still have our sin nature here on earth, so they’re will be a constant struggle between our old man and new man-but the problem is when the old man consumes us. As far as your comment “Maybe I did it wrong?” I don’t think there is a way for YOU to do it wrong. Salvation is not about You. It’s all about HIM, and that’s the beauty of it. Sadly, It’s not going to magically change, i wish it would. I hear your heart. You’re not alone. Even Jesus in Mark talks about the spirit being willing but the flesh being weak (Mark 14:38). How do we solve that? We ask the One who is able to give us strength, and then let others help us. It’s not going to happen overnight, unfortunetly. It’s okay to struggle, but, you only continue to hurt yourself more if your sin becomes habitual-and I think you know that. You know what Jack? God is using this time in your life to draw you to Himself! It’s when the struggle ends that you have to question, because it’s in the struggle that he teaches you the most. Yes, you are going to make it. Remember, our God is GREATER then he who is in the world! The war has already been won. Please, let someone help you carry the load, and release yourself of some of it. You wern’t ment to struggle alone. Keep struggling, and keep in touch. John 16:33.
Marianne Said:
on February 2, 2008 at 10:11 pm
hi
I used to think like this once. The forgiveness seemed required of me, even if the person was not sorry. One day, I happened to come across the scripture and it indicated that “if he repents” I was to forgive him. That was a great relief. We can choose to forgive others if they are not sorry, just for our own peace of mind, if our mind works that way. But we do not have to forgive someone who refuses to repent. After all, God requires repentance. Why should he expect us to do something that he would not do?
marianne
http://heavenawaits.wordpress.com/
garmentofpraise Said:
on February 4, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Hmm, interesting. Where is the verse that says “if he repents” to forgive him? What about the time when Jesus said to forgive someone 70×7? Do you believe that is just when they are sorry? Thanks for adding on. I look forward to getting to know you better.
Joy
Florida Steph Said:
on February 29, 2008 at 1:58 am
This has brought great enlightenment into my life for you see I have been through a great deal of heartach and pain. So much so it drove me to shut down both mentally and physically. I became someone I’m not. It was all darkness and I have very little memory of most of it. During this time of darkness I met and fell in love with my true soulmate….but that wasn’t enough to bring me out of the darkness. Guilt plays a very heavy burden on ones soul. I couldn’t forgive myself for what had happened to my life. After 3 years of what I refer to as the “YO YO Syndrom” bouncing in and out of reality…I found myself alone again. Loosing the one I truly loved was an eye opener for me…I went to the doctor who said I wasn’t crazy just hormonally imbalanced..the meds worked I became myself again. Now in trying to ammend all the wrong I had caused during this time has been the hardest struggle of my life. The one I loved understood what had happened to me, said he forgave me but in actality he never forgot..every time things didn’t go his way he would throw the past in my face and here comes the “guilt” factor again and again….Just how many times can one say “I’m sorry” before the sorrow turns to frustration? If you feel there will never be forgiveness then you lose the will to keep trying!! How many times can one be beat up for the past? How does one resolve this within themselves?
garmentofpraise Said:
on February 29, 2008 at 8:17 am
Flordia Steph. Thank you for leaving a comment, and for sharing so openly. I appreciate your honesty. It sounds as though you have had some pretty hard stuff happen, I know what you mean when you say “Yo Yo syndrom.” You’re not crazy. You know, sometimes people have a hard time forgiving. I know this first hand. Sometimes people are hurt, and they just can’t bring themselves to forgiveness, and it’s something that only time will heal. Keep pressing on. As far as your love constantly reminding you of the wrongs you have done, it is clear that he did not truely forgive you. Love does not remind you of sin, love covers your sin. Someone may never forget what has been done to him or herself, but forgiveness says it is over, and it is gone. You’ve done your part. You’ve said you were sorry and admitted you were wrong. It’s all that you can do. Now, all you can do is wait for the other person to come around. Never give up on them. As far as beating yourself up for the past you HAVE to understand that the past is….past. It’s over. No matter how hard you WANT it to go away, it won’t. You can’t do a thing to change it. Take responcibility for your actions, then let them go.
The perfect example of forgiveness is my Lord, Jesus. He chose to forgive the very ones who murdered him, (“Forgive them, because they don’t know what they are doing) He offers this same forgiveness to you, and he says “he removes your sin as far as the east is from the west.” East never bumps into West, he’s removed them forever. Friend, I wish I could make it better, but I hope what I have said has made sense. I’m praying for you. Forgive yourself, and let it go at the foot of the cross. Live in freedom. I’m praying for you (I just did). Keep me posted on the struggle.
Joy
Marianne Said:
on February 29, 2008 at 8:47 am
I did not get feedback on my site for 3 weeks, sorry, so I am just getting back here. As to forgiving if someone repents,the scriptures:
Luk 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
Luk 17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
1Jo 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
It seems like forgiveness can be granted in 2 ways:
1. unconditional, as when Jesus forgave those who crucified him. This was voluntary.
2. conditional, this is required. If the person repents, then you have to forgive him.
thanks
marianne
http://heavenawaits.wordpress.com/
garmentofpraise Said:
on February 29, 2008 at 9:36 am
Those verses are if your brother sins, not if he sins against YOU. (Look at the context for more proof of that) If someone sins agaist us, we have to forgive them. Just like Jesus. Even though the Roman soldiers didn’t say “sorry” he forgave them. If we refuse to forgive others, we are not showing them the same sort of forgiveness we’ve been shown. Our stubberness to forgive is a stumbling block in our relationship with God. It says in the Bible that if we have a grievence with a fellow brother, we should go to them first before taking communion. Why? It’s for our benifit!
It says to forgive you brother if he wrongs you 70×7. Why? For your sake. Just like the forgiveness that has been shown us, we should show it to others.
No problem about not getting back earlier. I don’t mind. I’m so glad that you stopped in and shared though.
Feel free to stop in again.
Joy
Marianne Said:
on February 29, 2008 at 9:59 am
I was just going by what it says…..
IF IF IF he repents, forgive him
that is just what it says…..so I take it literally.
garmentofpraise Said:
on February 29, 2008 at 11:01 am
Yeah, but it’s not talking about if your brother sins against you, it’s talking about if your brother sins.
Marianne Said:
on February 29, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Actually, it does say, “If he sins against you…”
Mat 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
Luk 17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
If he sins against someone else, it would not make any sense to forgive him, because it is not our business.
We can feel forgiving in our hearts, and not hold any bitterness….but it is the sinner is required to repent first, before he is officially forgiven.
garmentofpraise Said:
on March 1, 2008 at 9:11 am
We can discuss this all day. We both believe that scripture is the word of God. We interpret it differently. Context is SO important to me, and I think this is a case where we’d have to go back to the original documents in the original language because every version I checked (NIV, NASB, ESV)says “if he sins, rebuke him” and I believe that due to the context of the story, that is what Jesus said.
The way I look at it, as Christians we are required to forgive, regardless if the person who as wronged us has accepted that his actions were wrong. (hense Luke 14:4, he didn’t say oh forgive him when he says “sorry”)
I’m glad that God does not withold forgiveness from me, even for the thousands of times where I have not realized that I have wronged them.
So I think were in agreement? we both believe we need to forgive?
Your last comment kind of confused me. I’m sorry, I’m kind of slow. “Before he is officually forgiven” officually forgiven by who? So are you saying if I forgave someone in my life, but if they wern’t sorry, my forgiveness wasn’t “officual.” Is there such a thing as unofficual forgiveness?
Thanks for making me think. If you have any other questions, or comments, feel free to add on.
Joy
Marianne Said:
on March 2, 2008 at 8:19 am
I was referring to the interaction between the person and the one who offended.
example: if my kids disobey me or offend me in some way, I can feel the desire to forgive them, but it is best to wait until they understand they must apologize. If I jumped in and forgave them without any repentance from them, then they will learn that they can do what they want, not be sorry, and get forgiven anyhow. It just sends the wrong message. The whole time, however, I am eager for them to repent, so I can extend the forgiveness.
garmentofpraise Said:
on March 2, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Hmm, two different approaches on forgiveness. For me, when someone wrongs me, I struggle though it, and I forgive them even if they don’t come to me to ask forgiveness. It’s more for my benifit, and because I believe that is what God wants me to do (it’s pretty clear to me in the following verses)
“Mar 11:25-26
(25) And whensoever ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any one; that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
(26) But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
Mat 6:12-15
(12) And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
(13) And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.
(14) For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
(15) But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Mat 18:28-35
(28) But that servant went out, and found one of his fellow-servants, who owed him a hundred shillings: and he laid hold on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay what thou owest.
(29) So his fellow-servant fell down and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee.
(30) And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay that which was due.
(31) So when his fellow-servants saw what was done, they were exceeding sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.
(32) Then his lord called him unto him, and saith to him, Thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou besoughtest me:
(33) shouldest not thou also have had mercy on thy fellow-servant, even as I had mercy on thee?
(34) And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due.
(35) So shall also my heavenly Father do unto you, if ye forgive not every one his brother from your hearts.”
Now, it makes it a LOT easier for me to forgive when someone is really sorry for what they’ve done, but to not give someone forgiveness because they didn’t say sorry, I don’t know. I guess it depends on your definition of forgiveness, you know.
Thanks for making me think, and research.
Hope you’re weekend is going well.
Marianne Said:
on March 2, 2008 at 6:51 pm
if you look closely at my previous answer, the forgiveness is already there in my heart BEFORE they repent. I am just waiting for the opportunity to tell them.
garmentofpraise Said:
on March 4, 2008 at 11:16 am
Okay, I think I get it. So you forgive them, you just don’t vocalise it until they ask for your forgiveness. Got it. Hope all is going well with you.
ashley b Said:
on March 27, 2008 at 9:16 pm
omg this song is sooooooo kool!!!!!!!if its a song cause i havent heard them sing it???????well i luv the words anyway!!!!!!i luv barlow girl just some songs r kinda diff.well peace out much luv!!!
christiangirl101 Said:
on March 27, 2008 at 9:30 pm
forgiveness what a wonderful thing without forgiveness we wouldnt be here right now we wouldnt have a chance to make it to heaven!!!!!i thank jesus for dieing for us and giving us a chance to live with him eternally!!!!i luv u god ur my everything!!!!!thank u soooooooooooooooooooo…much words cant even express how i feel about u!!!!
leah Said:
on April 6, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I would like to ask you question…could you please e-mail me?
Mich Said:
on July 15, 2008 at 3:10 pm
God is so amazing!
Jack if you are listening (or anyone
struggling with the same thing)
remember it says in
1 Corinthians 10:13
For no temptation (no trial regarded as enticing to sin), [no matter how it comes or where it leads] has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear]. But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently.
(amplified bible)
The thing i wanted you guys to get out of
this verse was that YOU, are not YOUR own strength!!!!
God is, do not rely on yourself for help with
temptation! Because God has made a way.
It says also that no temptation you face will overtake
you, and that is not common to every single
person on the face of the earth!
so ill remind you with two things
1. God has made a path for you, He is
your strength so don’t rely on yourself
to get through anything (also relying on
God is asking him for help; through prayer)
2. Nothing you face can overtake you as
a Christian! (going back to 1.)
Because God HAS made a way!
One more thing if anyone wants me to
talk with them about their struggles
you can just e-mail me at…
Mch_246@yahoo.com
But before you email me just pray…
try to connect with God, and ask
for the Holy Spirit to be present!
Jesus will have an answer!
(and i am young so bare with me)
God Bless You, and the anointing
of the Holy Spirit be upon you!
And Jesus’s warm loving embrace
draw you near to him
Peace; Michu
(P.S- if you are not already at a church or
youth group seek God’s face
till you feel you can worship him
in a crowd…)
Amber Said:
on December 2, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Does God allow me to distance myself from people who continue to hurt me? Where in the bible does God talk about this? Can you elaborate on this statement?
One of the questions for my Pastor was “what’s the line of forgiving someone unconditionally or letting them take advantage of you?”
He said “Well, what does the Bible say about it?”
Me:(dumbly) I don’t know……
Him: 70×7.
Ouch. Yet, at the same time I have a responsibility to distance myself from the person or situation if their actions become a stumbling block, or damage me. Until it reaches that point, I have to forgive.
garmentofpraise Said:
on December 17, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Amber, thank you for your comment. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get to your question. Yes, God does allow you to distance yourself from people but their are certian exceptions for this. If someone is abusing you, that would be a situation where it’s okay to back out of that relationship. The other situation would be if they have become a stumbling block. The concern here is that the person who is hurting you will become an idol (in that they consume your thoughts and worries). If you would like to discuss this more, please leave another comment and will contact you personally. Thank you so much for your comment and I will pray for you.
zee Said:
on March 2, 2009 at 10:25 pm
I too like jack am struggling with habitual sin and i appreciate all the comments here on how Gods love is unconditional and he will always forgive us because i am born again and still i sin and sometimes it gets really bad but i am going to re-dedicate my life to God.