10 Things I’m Thankful For
08 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
I am marinating on two different posts right now. Hopefully they will be up soon. In the meantime, I would like to give a holla’ out to God and give him thanks today for the things that He has blessed me with.
10 Things I am Thankful for Today (in no specific order):
1. For the Lord’s salvation, How He captured me and drew me in.
2.The redemption of my brother, His friendship and leadership in my life.
3. The fact that I was able to fundraiser for Youth Encounter/Captive Free so quickly (I am SO amazed)
4. All of my little sisters, those whom I hold in my hands (2) and those whom I hold in my heart (3)
5. The support of my lovely friends and the fact that I will be able to see two dear friends from Eastern in a weeks span.
6. A roof over my head and food in the fridge.
7. For a church where I do not have to be afraid of persecution.
8. The healing of my heart.
9. For a greater purpose and faith.
10. Music, for like a channel, it draws me closer to the presence of God.
Truly, I am so rich. Thank you God!
20 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
“Remember, your God is Yaweh.”
Yaweh is the personal name of God. This name was formerly spoken only by priests in the temple and never uttered publicly before congregations or individuals during public readings of the Torah. Instead of “Yaweh” he name “Adonay” would serve as a substitute for the name “Yaweh” during public readings of the scriptures. Yaweh is the name that is most closely linked towards God’s redemptive acts in history.Direct translation of the personal name of God, Yaweh, implies that Yaweh IS the definition of redeemer, He is the one who freed the Israelites and the one who has freed all who have placed their hope in Him. (Information received from the book Praying the Names of God by Anne Spangler, a must read!)
I have multiple names (Laura Joy, LJ, Laura, Trouble). What people call me is often an indicator of how long they have known me or how close I am to them. God has multiple names too and before Jesus came, only certain people could refer to him by certain names. Before Jesus, no one could utter the name “Yaweh” unless they were pure by the basis of priestly duties and calling. Today, all of us can claim the name of God on our lives.
Of all God’s names, Yaweh has really been comforting me this week. Last week my friend from Eastern came over and something that she said to me really struck me. She reminded me in simple words to “remember, your God is Yaweh.”
I find it funny that often times in crisis I don’t want to be told about God. I don’t want to be told that “all things work together for those who love God and who are called according to His purpose.” I don’t want to hear that “God has a plan.” Selfishly, I just want God to be near. I just want to know that God has not hidden His face from me.
I can call on God by His personal name. Because the veil was torn and because of the blood of Jesus, I can enter into the intimate place with the Spirit and I can call on Him as my Savior and redeemer. In this confusion and chaos, I look to Yaweh to be my guide. In this sorrow and gladness, I look to Yaweh to be my light.
New Blog!
09 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
For the next season of life, I have a new blog. www.captivefree.wordpress.com. I will continue to pop back into garmentofpraise occasionally, but if you are looking for more updates about my life, I would encourage you to check out captivefree. Thank you, blog friends, for your continued love and support through many years and many ups and downs! You’re the best!
Breathing Words of Life
01 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
You never really know the impact that your presence may have in someone elses lives. The longer I live the more I realize that we were created to touch others. From our words to our conduct, our presence can leave an impact setting the course of a person’s life. What are you saying to those around you? Are you speaking words of life or words of death? Are you showing them love or are you too busy to see the impact of your words? Especially if you are a follower of Christ, you set the course of lives. Don’t take that responsibility lightly.
Come
22 May 2011 Leave a Comment
We’re all searching for something to fill the hole inside. We are looking for something to fill the need that we feel, something to comfort us, to ease the nagging or to the pain. Nothing on this earth will be enough. The further we run from Him trying to fill the voids inside of us, the worse that it gets, so the harder we feel we have to run away from Him when in reality, He has all we need.
Let’s get back to the basics. Plain and simple. He is everything. We have nothing. He is wholeness and healing. We are by definition nothing short of brokenness. The only way to find a solution to the hurt inside is to take the first step and to come to him.
Matthew 11:28-29: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Making me well
11 Feb 2011 Leave a Comment
I’ve been through an interesting period in my life these past couple of months. I can’t say I’ve ever been in a season quite like the one that I am in before. Some days to be frank I feel quite bi-polar. However, my source of consistency, my source of strength, my source of stability is (and always will be) my God. He is not a crutch, He is everything. Recently I’ve been thinking of the crazy love that my heavenly Father has for me and the people that I love. I know that I am guilty of viewing myself in the eyes of society rather then in His eyes. It only leads to disaster and heartache and I realized that it hurts Him when I do this. When my eyes are fixed on Him it is then that I see that I am not wasted space, but that He is crazy about me. It’s hard to digest. It’s hard to believe. It’s hard to let it sink in and accept it. Can I let you in on something? He is crazy about you too. I ended up writing a few poems/songs tonight that I feel I am to share with you. These I wrote for you from God.
Forever True
I watched you as a child,
I watched you as you grew,
I planted the flowers in the garden,
as my thoughts of you.
Each raindrop that falls from the sky,
is my lovesong to you,
for even in the storms,
my love is proved true.
From my Hell
I’m moving on tonight
carried by the arms of Christ
cradled in His arms secure
protected from the coming war
Keeps me safe so I won’t hide
You’ve caught every tear I’ve cried
faithful and true he’ll be
through the storms refining me
And what can I say
You’ve saved me from this hell
each and every day
You have made me well
My sin so far away
you’ve freed me from my cell
You take my breath away
you have made me well
You have made me well
(You have made me well)
Saved me from my hell
(saved me from my hell).
India’s Song
It’s been another battle,
Just another war
the look on your face
says you can’t take anymore
You close your eyes
to face the darkest of nights
open your eyes
to my heavenly light.
All you see inside
are the mistakes that you’ve made
the hurt you want to hide
can you see you’ve been renamed?
I know you’re tired and I know your weak
I trace the tears from your cheek
can’t you see, with you, all of heaven weeps
Child of mine, let me rock you to sleep.
Chorus:
You were made for more
with beauty beyond compare
of all the stars in the sky
to me, you are far more rare.
I see every ocean sunrise,
from my glorious throne
there’s beauty all around me
but you are more beautiful
then all of these
Just open your eyes and see,
there’s beauty in this mess,
when you look at Me.
Bridge: No distance too far, my love
for me to not reach you
You are worth more
then all of these.
Community Part 2
08 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
Community Part 2
“Whole Hearted” Clip from Facing the Giants. Found on Youtube.
Do you ever feel like this clip? Do you ever feel like God has asked you to trust him to go further in your faith with him? Maybe at first you’re like Brock -you don’t think you can make it to the end but you are willing to give it your best shot. Over time your “death crawl” has gotten a lot harder and the weight on top of your back was heavier then you thought. All God asked for you was your best and you are doing your best but it hurts so much. I want to remind you that the voice of God is screaming at you to keep going even in the moments where you feel like he is asking you to much or where you cannot hear him because of the pain. He is guiding you even when you don’t feel it. Give him everything you got. Give until he tells you to quit. I promise you that when you take off that blindfold, you will be amazed what He did through the pain that it cost you. There’s one line that struck me unusually in this film. Coach tells Brock that “If you walk around defeated so will they (the team).” Realize that you are a leader whether or not you realize it. People are following you. Like coach says, if you walk around defeated, they will follow you believed that they are defeated as well. The truth of the matter is that even if we feel defeated we are not. We know that we may lose battles, but that God has not lost the war. Revelation 12 tells us how we are to overcome the attacks of Satan and how we should press on.
See how far he takes you when you are willing to follow his challenge to you.
Community Part 1
05 Jan 2011 1 Comment
Lately I’ve been thinking about the importance of community. Perhaps I am just odd or maybe there are other people out there like me. Let me explain. Often times when I go through hard times I tend to resist speaking with the people I know I need to talk to to help and advise me, typically an older adult. Instead often times I go to someone who will just hear me out, typically one of my peers. Why do I do this? It comes down to pure pride and often times I don’t really even think about the fact that I am doing it. For me I struggle because I want to be independent. I don’t want to need other people or have to take someone’s advice. However, the Bible warns of this kind of pride. Proverbs 11:2 warns that “when pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”
I have been learning that observing true community extends far beyond ourselves and our own comfort. Observing the greater Christian community is about letting God use other people in our lives. Did you ever stop and think that perhaps God has placed someone in your life and you have failed to seek their advice because of your pride and that perhaps you thereby missed an opportunity for divine counsel? Perhaps we need to take a minute to think of the people in our lives whose advice we should be seeking and make more of an effort to be open with them. Proverbs 15:31;33 says that “He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.” We have nothing to be afraid of if the counsel we receive is grounded in the Bible. So what if someone tells us that what we are doing is wrong-if it is a word given to us is supported by the scriptures, then we need to hear it. Anything short of that is pride. Often times it’s people who are older then us who know more. So one of my goals this year is to shut up and listen. I want to listen to the people whom God has placed in my life. I want to hear their stories and have them advise me in mine. I encourage you to join me on this adventure. What has been spoken over you in truth may just change your life. God give us humble hearts.
Who I was collides with who I am
28 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
I was hopeless, lifeless, abandoned, confused, afraid, hiding, betrayed, living a life of lies and being lied to, I was alone, rejected, at the end of my rope, living a life of sin, pretending to be someone that I was not, struggling and hating who I was.
He was hope, life, friendship, clarity, strength, loyalty, honesty, someone who understood what it was like to feel alone, someone who had rejected, he was holding my rope and holding me to the rope, he was pulling me from my life of sin and tearing of my mask. He showed me who I was and it was not who I thought I was. He showed me my potiential and gave me a vision for my life.
Oh God, how far we have come together. How many things You carried me though. If you told me what this year would have in store for me at the start of the year I wouldn’t have believed you or thought I’d get through it. If you told me what would happen to me in my life at the start of my life I would have lived in fear and yet like the song by Charlie Hall says, I see Him in every scene of my life (Charile Hall, Scenes). In every moment of pain, hurt or confusion He is right there, drawing me closer, even when I could not see it at the time.
He’s giving me more hope for my future. I am finding myself refreshed instead of harmed, restored instead of broken, cleansed instead of marked. My scars will fade, my life in Him will never end. It’s so worth it. Everything that we go through. He is worth our everything.
Remember that time you first fell in love with the God who saved you? Tonight I remember when I did and it’s never been so sweet. Remember when it happened to you, oh Christian, and go back to that moment. If you have never experienced that feeling of falling in love with the creator of the universe, there is no better time then now to come to know Him. I’m praying for you, dear friends.
Setting Suns
27 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
It says it better then I can. John Mark McMillan-Setting Suns.
When everything’s said and done
You’re all I really have
In the midst of these setting suns
The city lights at best
Are portraits of my friends
But they don’t make amends
For this ridiculous mess
So I will float on
Every word you said
When the water of my ghosts
They rise above my head
And I will stand up on your back
In the middle of this sea
When collectors of my debts
They come to sink there teeth
And its all I can think about now
Is how good you are to me
This body is a hole
My flesh one shallow grave
I am six feet below myself
And at my best I still deserve to die
But I’ll be glorified
In this ridiculous mess
So I will float on
Every word you said
When the water of my ghosts
They rise above my head
And I will stand up on your back
In the middle of this sea
When collectors of my debts
They come to sink there teeth
And its all I can think about now
Is how good you are to me
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